Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
