I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
