I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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