Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
