If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize