I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize