I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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