He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
