we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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