there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
