Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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