the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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