I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
