Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
