I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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