If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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