I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
