How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
