All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
