I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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