we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
