So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
