i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
