the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I smell stomach acid.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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