Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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