I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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