It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize