My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
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I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
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I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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