umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
