Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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