so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Rumble strips road head = magical
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
