It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
