Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
cake and sex. what better combination is there.