She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
