Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
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