that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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