Define "chronic" masturbator.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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