just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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