How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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