I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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