apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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