I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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