Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
