We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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