someone owes me an orgasm
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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