batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
