i think my mom watched the whole time
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Randomize
