My hand turned me down
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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