i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
