Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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