Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
