Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
