That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
