You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
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I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
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You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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