So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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