You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
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