is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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