i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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