North Korea, Best Korea!
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
