Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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