He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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