God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
All the doctor said was why
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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