You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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